Athiests

[Amber Kalina]

Hi, my name is Amber Kalina. I have a problem.
My friend Tanner is an athiest, and I don't know how to try to get him to see the light.
Any ideas?

[Bobbie Steinhauer]

Amber, Here is what is hard to hear: you can't. Your friend is on his own path. Now, you have met and have a friendship for a reason. I have many friends who are not people of faith. But no more do I know God's plan for them than I know it for me.

What you can do is share your own experiences with God. Show him what it means in your life to have Jesus be the center. How it brings joy, how we are called to help people, no matter where they are in life. Most very public Christians really turn off people who don't have a faith (and even many who do). If you can show your friend what the reality of Christianity is, that we serve the God of love and allow God to use you in your friends life, that can make the most powerful impact. Even if you don't see the result.

It's a tough situation and it can be tremendously frustrating. My experience is that when I let go and let God use me, He's much better at expressing love than I am. Try not to dismiss your friend's view point, he arrived at that for a reason, and what a lonely place it must be to not know God really is right there waiting.

Blessings on your process with your friend. Keep us updated.

[Dwight DuBois]

Amber,

First, stay in relationship.

Second, trust that God is already at work in his life.

Third, pray for him, and pray for openness (on your part) to see needs and questions to which you can bring a word of faith.

Fourth, look for God-given opportunities to tell him about your experiences with God (and even your doubts!). Don't try to force the conversation. If you do the first three things, opportunities will be given to you to speak loving, relevant, and helpful words.

Fifth, know that (as Bobbie says) getting him "to see the light" is not your responsibility. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. You can and do play an important role in that process, but it is not your responsibility.

Blessings on the journey.

[Gary Blake]

Amber, Living your faith is the best way. All your responsibility is is to share the Good News that Jesus came to die for our sins and arose again. You only have to plant the seed of the word but it is God who gives the increase. You don't have to beat Tanner with a Bible. Just be his friend and let him know that he is important to God. God loves him so. The ball is in God's court and Tanners.

[Amber Kalina]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm just afraid that, if I even try to talk to him about the Good News that he will hate me and not want to be my friend anymore. He really cringes away from it.

He used to be a Christian, but I don't know what went wrong...

[Lisa Szwec]

Amber, I'm taking a wild guess that you and your friend are fairly young (late teens?) At that young age, and especially since you said he "used to be a Christian" - he may be going through a phase of rebellion. There might be something going on (at home?) that makes him hold contempt for authority in his life. But for whatever reason, he may feel he needs to have more control over his own life right now. (I could be totally off the mark too - like I said, just taking a wild guess)

If you are being yourself, he probably already knows that you are a person of faith. While he may enjoy your company, do not try to "fix" him. He probably doesn't feel "broken" anyway (in fact, he may feel empowered by his atheism). Entrust the healing to God; and understand that it will be done in God's time, not yours.

The other advice already given is excellent. But why not ask him to tell you his story? He might not open up right away, especially if he is deeply grieved by something, or if he thinks you're gonna whack him with a Bible. But when he does, just listen...without interjecting any opinions, no matter how biblical they may be. He may just want to be understood. Then maybe the two of you can explore his doubts (and some of yours) together in a non-threatening way.

[Amber Kalina]

Thanks, Lisa. I WILL try.
You're not off the mark on age. We're both 15 years old and are sophmores in High School.
Lisa Szwec said:

Amber, I'm taking a wild guess that you and your friend are fairly young (late teens?) At that young age, and especially since you said he "used to be a Christian" - he may be going through a phase of rebellion. There might be something going on (at home?) that makes him hold contempt for authority in his life. But for whatever reason, he may feel he needs to have more control over his own life right now. (I could be totally off the mark too - like I said, just taking a wild guess)

If you are being yourself, he probably already knows that you are a person of faith. While he may enjoy your company, do not try to "fix" him. He probably doesn't feel "broken" anyway (in fact, he may feel empowered by his atheism). Entrust the healing to God; and understand that it will be done in God's time, not yours.

The other advice already given is excellent. But why not ask him to tell you his story? He might not open up right away, especially if he is deeply grieved by something, or if he thinks you're gonna whack him with a Bible. But when he does, just listen...without interjecting any opinions, no matter how biblical they may be. He may just want to be understood. Then maybe the two of you can explore his doubts (and some of yours) together in a non-threatening way.

[Nate Porter]

I don't know if this will help you right away, but it's a great conversation and thought starter - an avowed atheist stating outright that developing nations need God for God's sake, not just hospitals and schools. The link is here: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/...

[Amber Kalina]

Wow! That's brilliant! I'll have to tell Tanner about this, Thanks MUCH!

[Amber Kalina]

Whenever I talk to him about God loving him, he shrugs it off.